Sunday, August 11, 2013

I decided I hate technology. How effortless it makes relationships. Any sort of relationship. 
I imagine the days when adolescent girls and boys would walk a mile or two at dawn until they reached their friends house. They would stay for the day, exploring and walking to the nearest town, until it was dinner time and they would return home. 
And I imagine being courted by a boy that you had maybe just met once at the town fair. He would search for you by name until he was finally pointed in the direction of your house where he would walk to just to ask you to join him for a stroll the next afternoon. 
The idea of someone going out of their way to show some sort of interest or affection seems lost these days. It's become so easy to text or drive to someone's house that I think we become numb to the excitement of any activity that occurs. Hearing from a friend is to be expected, seeing them happens almost daily, and only a few days pass between the times of spending substantial time together. 
What happened to the days where seeing a friend or being asked on a date was the highlight of the week? And the day to day life was spent in serenity with family, just reading or mastering the arts.
I hope when I wake up in the morning, I wake up on a cot in a house, not much bigger than my apartment, and open my window to see the countryside where my closest neighbor is a 20 minute walk away.
I'm not sure how it happened, but suddenly one day turned to two, which turned to a week, and I'm here now. With nothing more to say to you than I did when we last parted. 
I think it has to do partially with the way things were left. Not on a good note, not on a bad note, but on a note where I miss your mom more than you. To be honest, I'm not sure I miss you anymore at all. 
And I think it has to do with the attention I have received from people lately who aren't you. Whether it's been well received by me or not, it gives me the faith to know that there could be another for me, if I see him fitting. 

I still think about you. Often. I still replay the words your mom and grandma left me with: 'take care of my little boy.' I wish I could've told them that I would, but I'm no liar. But like I said, I don't miss you anymore. I'm not sure I'm really familiar with who you are anymore. All I know is if the last time we were together is any indication of our future relationship, we'll be lucky to survive a friendship.