Ever since I broke my leg I've developed a fear. Of everything.
I'm afraid of heights. I'm afraid of injury. Summertime brings out my fear of bugs, and love brings out my fear of heartbreak. And the fear eats away inside until it kills the aspirations and dreams I have of one day succeeding in anything.
I succumb to the fear. And I don't know why.

But I want to live fearlessly.

When do I reach the age where it's more than sex?
Where people will want to be around me and talk to me and date me without the ultimate goal of something as superficial as just sex? I'm craving something more.
I'm craving someone who cares.

It's depressing to think that I could be this alone for the rest of my life.

When did I hit the age that happiness was determined by the amount of numbers we got at bars or the amount of sex we were having? That guys suddenly think that an exchange of phone numbers and an invitation to "hang out" meant that within 4 hours of my arrival my clothes would be strewn across their floor and my naked body occupied in their bed?
It's now become okay to skip going on dates, holding conversations, and getting to know a person, and instead go right to the bedroom. And I can't take it.
I refuse to be another girl who gives into what anybody wants. My self-worth cannot be contained to one night of sex with some guy I hardly know.
And yet, respecting myself makes me almost unrespected by men. They don't understand it. They don't see that I'm not a prude, or waiting for marriage, or completely celibate. I'm just waiting for someone who will see that I am more than just a body, and I'm worth being treated as more than that.