I've always been a relationship person. I don't like to just do casual hook ups, and I'm willing to pass on a guy I don't think would be good for me in hopes of staying available when the right one comes along. And it's always been like that. Up until this summer.
All my relationships have ended poorly, and I end up wondering what's wrong with me. I judge other people's relationships and wonder why I'm left the way I am and they somehow manage to have this eternal glow of happiness on their faces. Not that I think that I'm any better than them, but why do I seem less deserving of romantic bliss?
I'm not sure when it was, or how it happened, but I realized the problem isn't me, it's who I become. I'm fine around guys. I'd rather hang out with my guy friends than the like, 3 gal pals I have. But once I start to form an interest in a guy and they show similar interest, I change. I become this girl who doesn't say much, hardly laughs, just wants to sit around watching movies. And who would want to date that girl for much longer than a month before just going insane.
I hate myself for that. I instinctively sabotage them all. And I'm not trying to sound all whiny and dramatic, that's not the point. My point is, if you spend all your time in a relationship avoiding doing anything that might make the other person not like you, it's going to end anyway. I believe at heart we are all wonderful people, you just can't be afraid to be you. Because if you're just you, people are going to love you for it.
And wanna get sexual.