It's not that I don't feel like myself, I'm just not sure what I feel like anymore.
I'm becoming numb to so much. And I know I've said this all before, but that's because it's becoming so prominent for me to just feel lost and in a daze.
I haven't felt anything strong for anyone in a long time. I like having the comfort of someone there with me and for me, but I don't genuinely feel for anyone. It's such a crazy transformation from last year when I was so willing to go out looking for love, and now I'm rejecting it so forcefully.
And I can't stop myself.
I want to be like that again. I want to want to fall in love. I want to meet someone who makes me feel like my heart skips a beat when I see them and who takes my breath away and who is amazing. I want that instant feeling for someone where I know in the first few minutes that they're something special. And I don't intend to settle for anything less. I'm just growing impatient with all the bullshit lately.