I want to stop thinking about my next step. That's all I ever do. I'm so afraid of being unprepared that I try to prepare for something that I can't anticipate. And it's wasting my time.
I'm so worried about my next move I'm not stopping to appreciate what's going on now. I'm not creating the proper present time to build my future off of. I get to the point I've been waiting for only to be ready to move onto the next thing.
I can't do it anymore. I can't keep letting times pass me by. I'm not enjoying myself anymore. These times I have with people I don't enjoy either because of that constant thought in my mind of tomorrow. But how can I enjoy tomorrow when I can't even enjoy today?
I'm making a pact right now to stop thinking about the what ifs in life and be more thankful for the what is. All that's standing in front of me now.
And as the rough patches come, I'll deal with them then. But for now I'm 19 and I've got more life inside of me now than I ever will again. There's no sense in wasting that
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