A handful of days ago I had this moment of clarity. An epiphany if you will.
I saw this couple, maybe in their late-twenties or early-thirties. They were pregnant with their first child, and they were perfect. I was in the process of helping them buy the soon-to-be-dad his first Father's Day present and it just hit me like a speeding semi. They had everything that I have ever dreamed of having, what I've been wanting since I was a little girl. And they were just so beautiful.
Seeing them made me look at myself and evaluate where I am. I'm 19, a college student, and recently dumped. And I had been so unhappy.
I forgot how young I was. These times I have and this life I have right now, it only comes once. Prior to dating Jake, being in a relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. But I saw something in him that made me believe in it all again. Falling in love and trusting someone completely. And I did. I fell in love. And it was heartwarming. I loved knowing that he loved me, but I took it for granted. I think I'm too young and naive to really appreciate someone loving me. And I'm not sure I'm quite ready to properly show my love for someone either.
I don't have to figure things out now. I know life can be short and chances come rarely, if ever. But that doesn't mean I have to spend my life chasing something that I'm not sure is even there. Yes, sometimes life can be short, but life is also, well, a lifetime. I owe it to myself to treat it as such.