It isn't that I don't want to be your friend. Well, I guess it is that.
I want to want all these things, but I just don't. I want to be your friend, I want to find someone who can help me move on, I want to surround myself with friends who will tell me I'm better off this way, I want to be fine.
But I really don't. I don't want any of it. I don't want anything.